Return to Oz

(this entry can also be viewed in My Inside Voice (link in sidebar)... sorry for the repetition for some of you)

This weekend I will be returning to the merry old land of Oz, or in reality Kansas. I'm very excited since I haven't seen the Baker family in quite some time. The Baker family includes: my brother-in-law (Bruce), my eldest sister (Michelle), my almost 5-year-old nephew (Gregory), and my newly-2-year-old neice (Ella). It was just Bruce and Michelle's anniversary along with being Ella's birthday. I forgot to call on both days because I'm a horrible person.

Family aside, Kansas is an interesting place to visit, albeit unexpected and, to many, undesired. For one thing, people are nice. They smile and make conversation... even if you don't know them. I went into a hallmark card shop (the place is riddled with hallmark stores) expecting to pick something up quickly and maybe get a mumbled, "Have a nice day," from some girl that dropped out of high school because she's pregnant with her cousin's baby. But this 5 minute errand turned into a 20 minute tea time as the little old lady behind the register inquired about my entire life story. Upon my departure, she sincerely wished me good luck with my schooling and told me she could tell I would be a great success someday (I think I wanted to be a lawyer at that point). It was erie... but really nice and uplifting.

Some other things about Kansas: good steak and BBQ; very flat; yes, there are twisters relatively often and no, I've never seen Dorothy or Toto.

Now, in the Kansas news you might recall that back in 1999, the issue of teaching evolution in public schools was challenged... to put it nicely. To put it honestly, those Kansas folk, I tell you hwhat, don't want their youngins hearin' no talk 'bout no evamolution... goin' against their God and all. I mean, really, science has no place in the schoolhouse... umm wait, what? Oh well, at least that was back in 1999 and evolution was brought back for good. Or was it?

It seems that the spinners and shakers we all love to hate (aka the Bush administration and their adoring fans and patsies) have put "intelligent design" on the table in an epic battle against the lovechild of science and satanism that is evolution.

"I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought," Mr. Bush said. "You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes."

(Firstly, note that to a multiple choice question posed to himself, Bush answered "yes.") Cleverly disguised as open-mindedness, Bush's rhetoric argues for the inclusion of intelligent design with the standard science curriculum. If this is the argument, perhaps there should also be a school standard to include teaching the definition and proper usage of the phrase "baby mama" in grammar class. [As in: baby mama (n), the biological mother of a child; I had to take off from work today because my baby mama dropped the kid off with me while she went to rehab.] It is currently as widely accepted in colloquial language as intelligent design is accepted as "scientific theory," probably even moreso.

As reported in the aforementioned article, the Kansas Board of Education voted 6-4 in favor of intelligent design. Arguing that this debate, which fundamentally comes down to the classic science versus religion, belongs in a classroom, John Bacon, former school board member, says, "These are public schools funded by public dollars, and public children attend them, and so I think this debate does belong here."

Yes, these are public children. Meaning they belong to the public? And yes, instead of learning what has already withstood the test of time to remain a scientific theory, I want these public children to debate an issue which has not yet been resolved by professional "intelligent" adults throughout the ages.

Dear sweet Kansas, thank you for raising the bar in Christian terms and lowering it in intellectual terms. To be fair, the final vote on this issue has not officially passed; so don't judge the Kansas board of education quite yet. Besides, their BBQ is REALLY GREAT!!