Saturday Night Live

Saturday night, I left my 2-D friends at home and went out to join the 3-D people in the actual live world. After watching the GW v. St. Joe's game (hail to buff and blue!) and doing some other stuff, I ended up at the Frog. My boyfriend was bartending and many regulars happily trekked through the snow to drink, play pool, and partake in general merriment.

There were, of course, some ir-regulars there as well. There was the guy with a huge "MOM" tattoo cliched to his arm. And the guy in the back, who would pick his nose and wipe it on his jeans every time his friend went up to the bar to get another pitcher.

Then, there was a group of "those" girls, wearing tank tops and other hoochie wear, despite the weather advisory and the fact that this was the Frog and not Club Froggy. Which leads me to the induction of a couple other color-coded levels and specifications for the Crazy Girl Advisory System.

An added spec to code green: you are wearing a sheer tank top in the middle of the biggest snow storm of the year and you are flirting with the bartender, whose girlfriend is sitting right next to you. Honey, you're not just crazy green, you're dumb to boot. Good luck with that.

New level: Crazy Girl Emerald.
You're the bartender's girlfriend and some code green girl is flirting with him right in front of you, wearing a sheer tank top. She leans over the bar to reveal her desperately pushed up A-cup cleavage and giggles while asking, "What's your name again?"
You deal with this by not saying anything at the moment and focusing on not going code yellow on her ass. Later, you blog about it and continuously bring it up for the rest of the weekend (and perhaps for the rest of his life)... because yeah, you're jealous (hence, the emerald green label) and insecure.

New level: Crazy Girl Indigo.
This will include the girls out there, who are just plain clueless, like Britney Murphy in... Clueless. To the girl at the bar who was wearing a short, red corduroy skirt with black stockings: burn that skirt. (Please note that I consider my judgement of her fashion sense to be crazier than her lack-of-fashion sense, being that I am sucked in by consumerism and superficiality and she is not. Lessons learned from Clueless. Still, that was one damned ugly skirt.)

New level: Crazy Girl Violet.
Another not-really-crazy-at-all category. You are violet if you judge other girls for no reason besides their being a bit indigo. Or you behave and/or react crazily on behalf of a friend. For example, you talk sh*t about the code green girl wearing a sheer tank top because you're friends with the girlfriend of the bartender with whom said code green girl is flirting. This is not so much crazy as it is catty; you are just a good friend... but you're friend is probably crazy and you're a little crazy by association. Sorry to all my female friends! I'm taking you down with me.

So, I found that going out on Saturday nights are a lot like staying in. I still watch and judge people. And there are still scantily clad girls that make me feel bad about myself. But it was a lot of fun anyway.