Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Wingman

In honor of Valentine's Day, let's talk about the real hero/heroine of romance: the wingman. From the buddy who sacrifices himself by pairing up with the inevitable big fat friend, to the pal who talks you up to the girl of your dreams, the wingman is securing opportunites for falling in love, or just getting laid, all over the place.

These are the people who think so highly of you, they recommend you to others and try to help you spread your love around. They listen to you when dates go bad and cover for you when you go bad. So whether you're single or in a couple, try celebrating the everyday cupids in your life on this St. Valentine's season.

Or try being a wingman yourself! It's easy and fun... and the gratitude you'll get, if all works out, is priceless. I recommend being subtle: set up a meeting in a group situation to take the pressure off of a potential blind date issue. Don't exaggerate the wonderous splendor of your buddy. Try to get a good match.

Of course, there's always the less subtle approaches too. Like playing an increasingly popular game first introduced to me on How I Met Your Mother: have you met Ted? Just go up to anyone with your friend and say, "Have you met (insert your friend's name)?" Then, just walk away and watch the magic.

Personal Wingman Shout-Outs:
To a certain couple of crazy kids who are taking a romantic impromptu trip to Madrid, you're welcome! Haha.
To AndyKim, Thanks for underestimating my ability to commit and introducing me to the best boyfriend in the whole world!
To everyone else, I hope you all had a happy Valentine's day!

2 Comments:

At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have three unacquianted male friends who are notoriously misguided, incompetant, and/or complete idiots when it comes to love. I couldn't understand how three such totally different people could possibly share all the same ailments when it came to members of the opposite sex.

Then, by a complete coincidence, I found out: none of them had ever watched Top Gun when they were children.

This is why Top Gun was such a seminal movie for boy's growing up in the 80s. It taught us everything we needed to know about seducing women ("You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips"), playing volleyball, coping with loss (Goose, noooo!), and of course, how to take care of your bros. "I'm NOT leaving my wingman."

SuperProphet's Guide to Top Gun Euphemisms:

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Maverick, you're at three-quarters of a mile, call the ball ("You should TOTALLY go for that hottie in the corner.")

Proper response: Maverick's got the ball.

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Maverick's re-engaging, sir! ("Jim's finally over getting dumped and he's up for hitting the bar!")

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I'm NOT leaving my wingman! (self-explanatory)

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No WONDER my three friends have no idea what they're doing.

 
At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't mention it. I was actually being your boyfriend's wingman as he had not engaged in some time (you know what I mean). Brings new meaning to the term "one shoot, one kill."

I think superprophet missed the most important wingman euphemism of all. After having been wingman for horny, drunken buddies for some time (his name starts with a T, ends wit an M and has an O in between), the prospect of loosing sight of a bogey in the sun tends to distort one's perception of a target; sometimes resulting in an unrecoverable flat spin. The appropriate response:

"Eject, Eject, Eject!"

Now that's being a wingman....

 

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