Tuesday, January 31, 2006

State of the Union

Like many other bloggers are doing right now, I am reacting to the reaction to the State of the Union. Though I watched it myself (and found myself laughing, or wanting to cry, at the "wrong" moments), what I find most interesting is the public reaction.

Having read some of the public responses, I remember now why I lost interest in politics. I did not and do not have the courage for it. Nor the confidence. I do not believe that I am absolutely right. I could not respond to the definitive declarations that Bush rules! or Bush sucks! (But, yeah, Bush does suck.) People approach the political arena the way they approach a baseball game. I understand that Yankees rule and Red Sox suck! That's all fun. But I can't understand carrying that kind of unwavering belief for a political party, which forever changes with the people leading it and the times surrounding it... and actually effects our lives.

I especially hate the response that so often comes from Bush-supporters, though: what would you do better? What I would do better is recognize that I am utterly unqualified to undertake the responsibilities required of the President and, despite the disappointment of my parents, I would decline the nomination so that I might never find myself at the head of this kind of situation.

If I wanted, I could run to the White House before the President returns to his home. And what would I do? I imagine I would only have the courage to glare. But I would dream that I would yell something clever but more importantly loud. He does not seem to hear clever very well. Loud would work best. Perhaps I should wear a sparkly top to really grab his attention. In my wildest dreams or if I lived in a movie, I would throw something. I would fake an assassination attempt and be gunned down by the Secret Service. I would go down as a martyr with an anti-cause. And now it's probably too late anyway. Though I haven't heard the sirens, there go the helicopters.

Can't Get Enough

If this blog just doesn't give you enough of me and my writing, check out Our World, Our View. I have basically the same name on there and am supposed to be the World and US News staff writer... but I might stray from that huge topic.

Also, if you need to see me in print, you can go find some old copies of Real Estate Portfolio (just google my real name). Or you can pick up a copy of Northern Virginia Magazine... though I'm not quite sure if I'm in the current issue. I'll definitely be in the future issues =o)

Oh how I love self-promotion on my self-indulging blog.

Monday, January 30, 2006

those bold few

Taken from several LiveJournal posts to give KMM81 the chance to put this entire list in bold (thus, alleviating her guilt for only having read 32 books in 2005) and to prove I am not nearly as well-read as I ought to be...

Here are the current top 50 books from www.whatshouldireadnext.com. Bold the books you have read. Italicise the books you might read. Cross out the books you probably won't read, ignore books you have no opinion on. Pass it on.

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter 6) - J.K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) - J.K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
American Gods - Neil Gaiman... well, i started it; that counts, right?
Ender's Game (The Ender Saga) - Orson Scott
CardSnow Crash - Neal Stephenson
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert

Yup, I've never read anything by C.S. Lewis or J.R.R. Tolkien. And I'm in no particular hurry to do so, either. Does that officially remove me from any hopeful geek status? I lament and apologize. Also, I would never cross out a book.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Roy G. Biv

In doing research for that last entry, I checked the actual Homeland Security Advisory System. They have green set to be the lowest risk, increasing to blue, then yellow, then orange, and finally red. Am I crazy and/or stupid to think they screwed that up? Did somebody not remember our good friend Roy G. Biv? I suppose, though, science is not a good friend of this administration. (Otherwise, if I am being crazy and/or stupid, please let me know so that I can learn and change.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Crazy Girls

It’s no secret that I’m a bona fide “crazy girl.” As such, I’ll go ahead and call myself an expert on the issue. With that authority, and to assist the public in dealing with this relentless “threat,” I am hereby developing an official Crazy Girl Advisory System.

Before going into the details (since they are long and you might not get all the way through), I’d like to admit that, personally, I have found myself emitting all colors of this rainbow at different points of my life. The fact is that all of us – girls and guys – have a little bit of the crazies. It’s not always bad thing (you have to be a little bit crazy to be a genius or to be creative). We should all learn to embrace that fact and remember not to judge others for past craziness. Keeping that in mind: ladies, please take responsibility for your own craziness and try to keep it toned down (but remember, a bit of well placed craziness can be fun, and lucrative, when used properly). To those that love us crazy girls, good luck… and remember: we’re worth it.

Code Red – severe level crazy girl advisory

Example of a code red girl: Girl A claimed that someone from her past was after her. She returned to her dorm room one night with the guy she was dating at the time. Upon entry, she noticed the place was disheveled and panicked under the assumption that the person from her past had found her and been there. She asked to borrow her date’s cell phone to report the issue. He watched her pace the room and report her concerns in a whirlwind of distress.
The guy later, upon investigation of his phone, discovered that she had never dialed a complete number to make the alleged call. He also claimed that he did not notice a difference in the state of her dorm room from the time they left to the time they returned.

How to deal with a code red girl:
Be prepared to shelter-in-place or evacuate, as necessary.
Expect uncontrollable emotional explosions, insane lies, and other extreme expressions of craziness.
Back away slowly, maintaining eye contact.
Do not make any sudden movements or loud noises.

Code Orange – high-risk crazy girl advisory

Example of a code orange girl: Girl S finally got to kiss a long-time crush in a drunken haze. They parted ways that night. For a couple weeks after, she proceeded to call him over and over and over again, trying to set up a second encounter. She left him messages on AIM, asking why he was ignoring her and what he wanted from her. He ignored and avoided her. Eventually, she took the hint and left him alone.

How to deal with a code orange girl:
Exercise caution in public places and gatherings.
Be sure to screen all phone calls.
Warn friends and family members to not discuss your whereabouts or your availability.
Be patient. She will stop… eventually.

Code Yellow – elevated risk crazy girl advisory

Example of a code yellow girl: Girl E gets into a fight with her boyfriend. In front of witnesses, she yells at him, calling him fat and ugly, and exclaims, “Nobody likes you!” In response to his yelling back, she rips the glasses from his face and crushes them in the palm of her hand.

How to deal with a code yellow girl, if you want to keep seeing her:
Do not engage in her crazy antics.
Exercise control, using soft tones and gentle words.
Do not make physical contact.
Be prepared to grovel and apologize, even if allegedly unnecessary.

How to deal with a code yellow girl, if you do not want to keep seeing her:
Tell her you do not want to keep seeing her.

Code Green – guarded risk crazy girl advisory

Example of a code green girl: Girl P is dating Guy T. They meet up for a bar crawl with a large group of friends. Girl P proceeds to drink excessively to the point where she is jumping on guys in the middle of the streets for piggyback rides, despite the fact that she is wearing a short skirt and a thong. It is daytime and everything is highly visible. Additionally, she treats his female friends like they are vultures just waiting to pounce on the remains of her prey, Guy T. Hypocritically, she flirts with anyone in the position to get her another beer.

How to deal with a code green girl, if you want to keep seeing her:
Watch and be entertained.
Do not take her craziness too seriously. She is harmless.
Be reassuring and attentive.

How to deal with a code green girl, if you do not want to keep seeing her:
Tell her you do not want to keep seeing her.

Code Blue – low risk crazy girl advisory

Example of a code blue girl: Almost every girl you and I have ever met. She can get jealous of your exes, your female friends, and occasionally celebrities and/or fictional characters you have crushes on. She might be considered needy, demanding, and high maintenance. She wants you to call her, talk to her, and hang out with her whenever possible. She may tell you that you should do whatever you want, but she doesn’t mean it. She thinks she’s fat and/or ugly. She needs affection, praise and love.

How to deal with a code blue girl, if you want to keep seeing her:
Remain understanding.
Appreciate her, craziness and all.
Tell her she’s not fat, ugly, or crazy.

How to deal with a code blue girl, if you do not want to keep seeing her:
Tell her you do not want to keep seeing her.

*Please note: all examples are only vaguely true. Stories have been embellished for effect. Also, boys, notice that the way to get rid of an unwanted girl is to be honest and straightforward. Lastly, there is no option for “if you want to keep seeing her” available for code red and orange girls because I have never heard of any such cases in which that might be a desired option.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Meet the Parents

This past weekend, I went home to NJ with my boyfriend. It was his first time visiting my house and family. He was scared. Rumours he had heard about meeting Filipino parents filled his head with anxiety (I'm not sure exactly what those rumours were). Plus, I am the youngest of 3 girls... and my dad does not take kindly to the boys sniffing around his daughters. As an example of the trials endured by our suitors: boys are not allowed upstairs. After about 15 years of being with my sister, over 10 years of marriage, and having two children with her, my brother-in-law has just recently been granted access to the aforementioned restricted area.

This was not the first time for my family to meet the boyfriend, but it was the first significant period of time they would spend together (except for my eldest sister and her family, whom we visited in Kansas already). Things went way better than any of us had anticipated, I think. My dad actually liked him! Well, what he actually said on the phone after I returned to DC was: "That guy's ok."

They played ping pong and watched football together. It was so cute. And it made me really happy. My dad said he can come home with me anytime he wants. It might sound like small accomplishments, but if you know how my dad is with me and my sisters, you've gotta understand that this is huge. HUGE!!

Now, I just have to get his family to like me as much as my family seems to like him...

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year's Evolution

1992-1998: NYE was spent at home, where my parents have hosted a big party at our house every year (since 1992... maybe earlier). Family friends would come over, eat lots, gamble and make a lot of noise. Not a lot of drinking went on, as far as I knew. There were few children my age, but I didn't mind because I thought it was more important that I was with my family.

1998-2001: As I grew older, I noticed the older children (my sisters and their friends) were partying at other venues. For these years, I ended up spending most of the night up in my parents' room watching MTV celebrate. I started getting that New Year's Eve was a holiday more traditionally spent with friends rather than family. But I still stayed home with my parents and their friends... partly because I still felt I should spend it with my family, but mostly because I wasn't allowed to go out (yeah, I was already in college, but my parents were a bit strict and still very much in control of me).

2002: My first New Year's away from home! I went to Vegas with some friends and friends by association. This was a lot of fun, but a lot to take in for my first venture out of the nest. The night before NYE, I went to one of those hotel clubs (I forget which one) with everyone and was so that girl. My friend had one of the waiters give me a lap dance, which included pouring a bottle of liquor down my throat. I blacked out (hence why I forget which club) and apparently passed out in the bathroom. The following day, NYE, I was so hungover, I couldn't drink at all. I still braved the crowd on the strip, though. It was so crowded that for a few blocks, my feet barely touched the ground as I was dragged down the strip, packed between strangers. Right after midnight, I went up to the hotel room and watched MTV. Also, being on west coast time for the ball dropping weirded me out.

2003: Miami! I flew down to Florida to meet up with some of my best friends from college. They had just graduated and/or moved away from DC; so, this worked as a bit of a reunion. We had sooo much fun... and I cannot report all of the happenings here... just because.

2004: The first time it occurred to me to stay in DC for NYE. This was also tons of fun. My friends had a party at their G-town house, lovingly dubbed the Brothel. We drank. And drank. And drank. By the end of the night, I had a picture of my friend's ass (we like to call him Balls-Out... so at least it's just a picture of his ass), a beer-soaked crotch (my friend spilled beer onto my lap... and then tried to clean it up), an injured hand (from punching said friend in his giant Asian head after he tried to clean up the spilled beer... from my crotch), and a boyfriend. Yup, my cheese and cracker boyfriend asked me to officially be his girlfriend on NYE.

2005: Back to the Brothel. This year, though, we tried to be a bit more classy. The boys suited up and the girls got all pretty. And we cooked! It was a potluck and much to my surprise this did not limit us to chips and dip. Who knew my friends could cook? I made crab puffs, stuffed mushrooms, and chocolate Kahlua truffle cups. We started the party off maturity style, but we kept it real by the end of the night. We're not all grown up yet. But how's this for progress: nobody took their clothes off (we miss you, Balls-Out!) or got punched in the face. I think some girl spilled a drink... but I don't know her; so it doesn't count... haha. And it was my one-year anniversary with the boyfriend! =o)

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's celebration!