Go Back Two Spaces

In my second to last post, I by-the-way'd Jane Espenson's blog. Now that I've had more time to read through it, let me give it the attention it deserves.

It's basically an advice column for would-be television writers and it's awesome. It's mostly about comedy, as she "catagologues" jokes: the Since joke (which is like a tactful essay-type version of South Park's "Cartoon Wars" rip on Family Guy), the Hello joke, and the Audience Assumption Joke, to name a few of the more recently catalogued ones. Also, she often refers to her days writing for Buffy and gives reasons for why they wrote things the way they did--a behind-the-brilliance sort of thing. And let me tell you, there is no better way to teach me something than to do so with allusion to Buffy.

One entry I'd especially want you to check out has nothing to do with Buffy, actually. It's Like Syndicating "Will" and "Grace". Apparently, syndication was once a rarity for the hour-long dramas that are increasingly populating our television screens. She reveals that Law & Order only went to syndication, so she was told, because it was sold as two separate half-hour shows: Law and completely detached Order. How weird is that? "Hey, did you catch Order last night? It was awesome! But Law kind of sucked." Thank goodness it's not like that and Law & Order can live together in one happy murder-filled hour, or more depending on what marathon holiday it is.

It's nice to see that watching a ton of television and deconstructing the scripts can lend itself to a great career. And my father said it couldn't be done. Too bad I must settle for doing it as a hobby... for now ;o)

ps I like seeing what she has for lunch everyday. Maybe it's the secret to good tv writing.

My Sister, the Scrub

I just found out from my sister, who's a first year anesthesiology resident, that one of her co-workers said to her, "Now I remember who you remind of!"

He continued, "Do you watch Scrubs?"

Durr, who doesn't watch Scrubs?

"Yes . . . don't say Elliott. Do NOT say Elliott," she replied.

"No, you remind me of Carla!"

Now, she can't figure out what it is that would make him say that. I'm thinking it's the dark skin, dark hair, and shapely figure. She thinks it may be the personality, which she describes as smart-mouthed and obnoxious, but ... and this is about Carla, not my sister... I would say is bossy, righteous and stubborn. So, being that you all don't know my sister (though at least one of you does), what would make you compare a person to Carla Espinosa? Or is being compared to her a compliment or an insult?

Austen + Buffy

Two of my greatest loves have found each other. Jane Espenson, former Buffy writer, wrote a short story called "Georgiana" that can be found in Flirting with Pride and Prejudice: Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece. Sure, it's not like Elizabeth Bennett was a Chosen One or anything (or was she?), but it's a good enough connection for me. You can find me at the local Borders immediately after work.

By the way, check out Jane Espenson's blog.

American Idol = Taylor Hicks

Okay, I enjoyed watching the season finale of American Idol way too much. It's like when I was little and would go to watch my sisters' show choir performances, but on television! There's singing and dancing, costumes and lights... I mean, what's not to love? If they only got rid of Ryan Seacrest, the Pickler 'n' Puck things, and that Chicken Little kid, I would've been completely happy.

I was especially excited about the special guest stars: Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, Al Jarreau, Burt Bacharach, Dionne Warwick, and Prince (I didn't like the Meatloaf-McPhee performance). I love watching Prince perform... gotta love Prince. Then of course, there were previous Idols Carrie "I love Jesus" Underwood and Clay "I should've won" Aiken. And the stars in the audience included Bones and Booth/Angel! Yay! (Was that David Boreanaz's kid? I didn't know he had a kid. I thought we really had something together and then I find out on national television that he's a baby daddy? There goes our 8 year relationship right down the pooper.) Of course, the celebrity fan everyone's talking about was David Hasselhoff, Mr. Baywatch himself, who was shown at the moment of Taylor's victory to be tearing up. It was quite an emotional moment. Or maybe there was just sand in his eye.

I am a little disappointed that Katharine was ever so gracious in her loss. I was really expecting/looking forward to her removing her oh-so-cute mask to reveal the slime-dripping, fang-filled demon-lady beneath. Or she could've at least cried. I really don't know why I ended up wanting her to lose so much. I think she has a fabulous voice and I liked her so much at the start. Maybe it was all the time she spent on her knees; we don't need an American Idol doing that sort of thing. We've got enough pop stars for that (what has Christina Aguilera been up to lately?). At any rate, congratulations to Taylor Hicks, the new American Idol. I wasCan people stop yelling about the soul patrol now? Whoo.

Straight-Faced and Running

A woman ran for the metro as it prepared to pull away from the platform. Her lips were straight, her jaws clenched, and her eyes focused. Even her hair bounced with uniform precision. Her footing was sure and her arms pumped with perfect form, despite her messenger bag slung across her chest. Determination kept her from waving her arms and yelling to the engineer, begging him to wait. She would not need to plead for patience. Anyone could tell: she was making her train.

I never run for the metro.

Alias Finale

I'm skipping some shows (That 70s Show, The OC, and Desperate Housewives) and going right for Alias.

I just went over The Watercooler's recap of it and I'm thinking maybe I'm just a wee bit more critical than the people over there. While they're saying it was near perfect, I've gotta say, I was pretty disappointed. The excitement I had going into this series finale carried through the first hour.

I loved seeing Marshall with his wife, whom we haven't seen for far too long. In fact, Marshall, again, was awesome at being kidnapped and standing up to the bad guy. Why would Arvin think Marshall couldn't handle this? Doesn't he remember how he faired against that crazy evil Asian dentist guy? It was great to see him tell Sloane exactly what he thought of him. Once again, I heart Marshall.

The flashback scenes were pretty good, too. It was funny to see Sydney tell Jack that she got a job at Credit Dauphine. It was also nice to see Francie, too. But I don't think those scenes gave us anything we didn't already know, which leads into my main complaint about this finale.

I don't feel like anything was really explained. No new information was given. The whole Rambaldi thing was supposed to be huge. The horizon was supposed to be some kind of apocalyptic device or whatever. So, it turns out, all of it was just some fountain of youth that could keep any one person from death? I just don't think that's big enough.

Also, Sloane and Irina, I thought, weren't supposed to be evil. They, Sloane moreseo, seemed to think that everything they were doing was for the "greater good." Sloane thought himself to be chosen. So, how is finding immortality for just themselves and then getting missiles to destroy 2 major cities in order to make money off of rebuilding them the greater good? Irina kept saying that "truth takes time" and there was a purpose behind everything she did. The truth seemed to end up being: she's a crazy bitch who wanted eternal power. Yeah, that didn't need to take 5 years to figure out.

Now that it's all over, I think the show left questions unanswered often throughout its run. But there was so much action and drama swirling around all at once, it was really easy to overlook them. I kept thinking that by the end of the series, everything would get answered. Then again, maybe I just don't get it. I'll let you know what I come up with after watching it all over again on DVD... haha.

Anyway, it sure was a nice and happy ending for our heroes. Even Jack's farewell was fitting and awesome: "You beat death, Arvin, but you couldn't beat me." I'll admit I got all teary at Syd and Jack's last scene together. Sloane could not have met a more appropriate fate: trapped alone underground for the rest of his immortal life. And of course, Sydney and Vaughn got their quiet little house on the beach with their 2 beautiful children, Isabelle and Jack, to live out their happily ever after. Awwww!

Finale Frenzy

I didn't watch any finales on Wednesday, but I did watch the second to last episode EVER of Alias. And less importantly, the final 3 for American Idol.

Alias
Thank goodness they've made a big comeback to end this series. The new kids (I don't even know their names) have an irrelevant storyline going on. Alias fans have invested 5 years into this show; I'm pretty sure no one cares about those two newbies. I suppose it's good filler. However, I'm assuming they'll tie in the Cardinal to Prophet 5 in the end.

I thought JGarn was good at playing Anna in Syd's body, but then she was also really good at being bad at being Syd pretending to be Anna in Syd's body. Did I lose you yet? Point is, JGarn was good. So, then what was the point of her being so obviously Sydney pretending to be Anna if no one realized it? How could Sloane not have realized that Sydney was herself and not, who some people are calling, Syd-inosa (or something like that)?

Gotta love the return of Sark and his verbal and physical blows with Sydney/Anna. He's the worst criminal mastermind ever, and that includes King Tut on Adam West's Batman. I mean, this guy can't go 5 seconds on Alias without getting punched in the face. Why would they even consider him a threat anymore? I love him though, in all his bumbling badness.

Loved the re-encounters with Vaughn, especially Marshall saying, "I cried at your funeral." I heart Marshall. Oh and Vaughn seeing the picture of Isabelle for the first time. *tear* Also, having the Vaughn-Sydney team back in action, kind of, was... refreshing (I can't think of the word I really want here). The ending, before Sloane's sinister phone call, was just plain beautiful. I'm a sucker for those ABC Family moments. As for Sloane's phone call, why would Sydney answer that call? Don't they have caller ID? Don't they teach you to screen your calls in the CIA? Especially if you're supposed to be dead. Durr. Not very covert.

Can't wait to see the finale, randomly on Monday. Oh, Alias, I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave =oP

American Idol
When I watched in the very beginning, Taylor and Katherine were my favorites. And look who's left standing. I won't say I was right all along though because along the way to the finals, I also ended up liking Mandisa, Chris, Ace (just cuz he's damn cute), Paris, and Eliot. Truth be told, I still want Chris to win the whole thing. I feel like the number of votes may have dipped since he was eliminated, but that's only based on a hunch. But I hear Fuel might be signing him on as their lead singer. I was wondering what Fuel has been up to lately... not (In high school, a friend of mine decided that saying 'not' should come back into usage... here's to continuing the effort). Anyway, as it is, I hope Taylor wins. I think Kat's a good singer, but I don't like her for all the reasons everyone else in the world is blogging about. Then again, there are a lot of great pop stars that I wouldn't like either. Either way, I will continue to not vote and no matter who wins... Kelly Clarkson's still the best.

Finale Frenzy - Scrubs

Though I hated having to wait until January for Scrubs to return, I loved the whole two new episodes a night thing. Especially this week, for finale night.

I really like JD's new love interest, Kim, and I especially love how they met. JD's not being able to see women with wedding rings on was freakin' brilliant. Also, I like having this newfound sense of closure, knowing what happened to Gift Shop Girl. I can finally sleep at night.

So, how come, in my two favorite hospital shows, the doctors and nurses seem to have no idea how to have safe sex? On Grey's, all of them are just jumpin each other in any nearby empty room, contracting syphillis and who knows what, and in good ol' Sacred Heart, everyone's getting pregnant. Of course, the only couple who actually wanted to have a baby had to try extra hard for it, but that seems pretty realistic.

Knowing thoughout the episode that Dr. Cox and Jordan were expecting really made the end a surprise for me. Gotta love the writing there. And everywhere on this show. So creative and fresh at almost every turn.

Some other things I found especially noteworthy from this finale:

Jack's lines in subtitles, especially the second one - paraphrased "I made poopy in the bed and I put it on the tv" - followed up with Turk's line, "Why's your tv smell like doo-doo?"

the Janitor's baby cage - "No, Mom... playpen/baby cage is not tomato/tomahto."

Cox's rant about pooping to his son - "You know, son, as a doctor I spend a lot of my day dealing with other people's poop, and I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie, it gets old. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed the last three years of waking up to a fresh brown trout in your Huggies, but you'll be doing the same thing for me some day real soon. Yet, aside from actually seeing you being born and the time Wayne Gretsky said "what's up" to me in line at the bank, you being out of diapers is the best damn thing that's ever happened to me. It truly is. Now why don't you go into your room and play for a little while because your mom and I are going to celebrate up here, grown-up style."

Gotta love sophisticated poop jokes. I could really just put up the whole damn script to both episodes; so i'll just stop there.

One more thing... damn the network for making us wait AGAIN for the show to return. NBC president, Kevin Reilly makes a good point though: Reilly said holding Scrubs until mid-season this year "was like the best thing we did. They had more time to [work on the episodes] and I think it ended up being great creatively for the show." (tvguide.com) And Bill Lawrence doesn't seem to mind: "It doesn't really bother me," he admits. "I'm sure I'll come up with something snarky to say sooner or later." Anything that's ok by Bill is ok by me too then. I'll just have to pick up the season 3 dvds to hold me over.

Finale Frenzy - HIMYM

How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM)
That darn president inconvenienced my life once again, as his presidential address this past Monday delayed the start of the prime time lineup on some networks. So, what I thought would be a great, perfectly-timed night of television -- starting with HIMYM and immediately followed by the 2-hour conclusion of Grey's -- turned into a good 20 minutes of frantically switching between the two shows. Yeah, I know I need a TiVo/DVR.

So, I'm gonna cut HIMYM some slack and say that my disappointment in the finale may have been caused by my forced inattentiveness. But there was disappointment all the same.

The Robin-Ted relationship lost me at the very beginning of the whole show. I'm not really a huge fan of Robin's. She kind of treats Ted pretty badly: rejecting him from the get-go, forcing this awkward friendship and squeezing herself into his circle, deciding she likes him when he's finally happy with Victoria, and then being an uber-bitch to Victoria. She's a Canadian Rachel (yes, that's 2 Rachel references in 2 blogs) and who needs that? Don't get me wrong; I like her enough, but I don't want her with Ted. And since we KNOW they don't end up together, what's the point? Entertainment, I suppose. And it'll be a good learning experience for Ted; he does need to make these mistakes: drinking bad milk and going out with Robin.

So, I can accept they're being together, but did they have to get together with all that extra-cheese? A rain dance, calling up to her apartment from the street, kissing in the rain, a rain dance, dozens of roses, a blue-instrumented serenade, a RAIN DANCE??... bleh. What the hell happened to the writing in this episode? They managed to cheese it up with Ted and Victoria while maintaining quality tv, but they pretty much failed in that respect with this episode, imho.

Marshall and Lily, on the other hand, was a great storyline and will continue to be one next season. I love the pausing, though I could've done without the Red Lobster commercial.

(Also, how can they have Willow, Wesley, and Fred all in one show and not have them interact? Harumph. I would love even just a cheesy "don't I know you" sort of thing. Oh how I miss Buffy... and Angel to a lesser extent. *sigh*)

Finale Frenzy - Grey's

Oh, how I love May! May flowers, sun shining, birds chirping... and more importantly, the wrapping up of all our favorite telly stories. I haven't been quite on top of the frenzy of tv news, i.e. finales, renewals, and next season lineups. But I've found my tv watching to be less tainted by outside influences that way, I think. Plus, it lets me bask in the torrent of information all at once. =o) Anyway, about the finales:

Grey's Anatomy
After giving this show 3 hours of my life in 2 consecutive days, they can't even give me the next 5 seconds? I really hate cliff-hangers like that, dangling over the summer abyss. It's one thing to have an oh-my-gosh-Rachel's-pregnant cliff-hanger. This type of ending will require a whole new season to resolve itself. But c'mon, ending with a "Here, Meredith; c'mon girl" tug of war seemed entirely unnecessary. Meredith could have easily walked away with the vet, looking longingly yet confusedly at Derrick who shrinks into the background gazing after her until Addison comes over and kisses him on the cheek, and we'd all still watch next season to see how Grey ends up with McDreamy. Then again, who am I to judge over-dramatization?

I also didn't think it was necessary to give the Chief that extra storyline with his niece and have a prom at the hospital. I get bringing it back to high school and all that, but I think that theme could've been brought in more subtly. I feel like they could've just copied something else Scrubs did first, but I can't think of what exactly right now. I guess it's harder to re-write Scrubs into a drama than I thought it might be. (I'm kidding, really... I love Grey's... Shonda, you rock!)

I thought Izzy was awesome. Her dramatic ability was surprising and impressive. I mean, she of course delivered a moving performance in the critically-acclaimed, made-for-tv-movie, Romy and Michele: In the Beginning, but her intensity and devastation over Denny was incredible. I liked Denny (he reminds me of my sister... is that weird? i could explain, but not now), but we all knew his days were numbered. Without this necessary loss, Izzy might never have fully broken out, past her blonde hair and big boobs. Now, maybe Alex and Izzy will have another shot. And Alex can stop being the biggest asshole on television, which, in itself, is quite an accomplishment. I'm glad they gave him a couple nice-guy moments at the end of the season, but where the hell did they come from? Just from working with the gyno-girls? They weren't really believable, to me at least. Still, I'd like to have them delve into his character a bit more.

Alright, there's a ton more that should be covered, like Burke's great storyline and Sandra Oh's latest performance of excellence, but I've already spent 3 hours on this finale and I think that's quite enough.

Tales of the Drunk

In recalling the Bad Idea Bears, I decided to share some of the stories they have played the muse to. Keep in mind, these are not necessarily MY stories and the names have been changed. Here's the first of this hopeful series:

• One college morning, Joe woke up after a night of hardcore drinking to the giggles of the Bad Idea Bears (BIB). He decided to go downstairs to the convenience store to get some gatorade and replenish his hungover body. In the elevator, he heard the BIB's snickering whispers. He doesn't know yet. Sshh. This is gonna be awesome. Tiny, fur-covered high-fives all around. Joe walked out of the building and followed his usual morning-after route down the block, bleary-eyed and ragged. He entered the store, went straight back to the refrigerators, grabbed his Gatorade flavor of choice and headed to the register. Absent-mindedly, Joe stared at the unfamiliar cashier, unable to understand what he was saying. "Avez-vous besoin d'un sac?" repeated the cashier. Realization flooded over Joe with the explosive laughter of the BIB. Without the gatorade, Joe ran outside and finally looked at the streets with wide-awake eyes. This was not his street. He ran back to the building he stumbled out of just minutes before. This was not his building. He sat on the curb. This was not his country. Joe had somehow left his upstate New York college at some point the night before and ended up in Canada. Who knew the BIB had passports?

You are all encouraged to comment back with your own tales.

TGIT

Tomorrow's kind of a big day for me. I'm taking off from work. At noon, I will be signing papers and officially settling the condo deal. Pretty nifty. The rest of the day will be spent packing and moving stuff. I won't be moving the big stuff until Memorial Day weekend, but the majority of the move will take place this weekend, including painting and the like. We're gonna go to Home Depot... and maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond, if we have time. I don't know if we'll have time.

Hopefully, tomorrow night will counteract the mundanely "grown-up" activities of the rest of the weekend. A magazine I wrote an article for will be launching tomorrow and they're having an official release party. It's at Leftbank in Adam's Morgan (you're all invited), where I've never been before, though I hear there's been some ruffying activity in said location... so it must be a good time, eh? There's a dress code at this place, too. I haven't been to that kind of place since I was... about 2 sizes smaller. Needless to say, I have to go shopping. Anyway, it should be a wasted good time. I can hear the Bad Idea Bears scheming to ruin any shot at writing for this magazine again. Then again, it's a magazine started by service industry people... and in my experience, those people would be more likely to drug my Bad Idea Bears themselves rather than judge anyone else's behaviour. At any rate, it should be a good time. And hopefully, my article will actually be in the magazine and not on the cutting room floor. I was told it was the feature article, but I've been told a lot of things. Guess we'll see tomorrow.

glory days

With nothing particularly blog-worthy going on in the present, let me take a moment to delve into the past. I often think that it's possible I peaked at 17, at a very shallow peak, nonetheless.

I went to a very small private school (about 90 people in my graduating class) that offered great academics and mediocre sports, except for tennis and golf (they called us the country club school). It was easy to be considered an athlete there. So really, it's no huge accomplishment that I played tennis and basketball. Sure, our tennis team was top-notch -- we won the Tournament of Champions for NJ every year except my freshman year -- but I was always one of the worst players on the team. I was fairly good in the big picture, based on USTA rankings, but it's hard to think of yourself as good when you're constantly practicing with people in the league of amazing. It was quite the predicament. Had I gone to my public school, I would've played first singles but been part of a not-so-great team. As it was, I was lower on the ladder for the best team in the state. Which would've been better for me, personally? I suppose there's no point in contemplating that now. At least I had fun, for the most part, and racked up a whole lotta trophies and news coverage.

Actually, my experience in basketball might be a good indication of how I would've faired in tennis at my public school. We weren't particularly good; so I was the starting Varsity point guard since Sophomore year. With that experience, I gained some confidence and leadership abilities. I loved it, too. We had so much fun... well, I did at least.

Besides sports, I did some other activities. I sang since middle school: choir, some 'select' middle school groups, high school choir freshman year and then Lyric Singers sophomore through senior year. Lyric Singers was the 'select' women's singing group. We went on annual tours, singing at schools and events and stuff, to Philly, Boston, and New Orleans. Lots of fun. Also, I was on school council: sophomore class rep, junior class pres, and school council pres. I had fun doing this too.

Before all the stuff in high school, I played violin, piano, softball, soccer; dabbled in cooking, pottery, computers (before the good stuff came around, I learned the easy ancient programming stuff), gymnastics, tap and putting together newpapers. It was fun being a kid and trying out all these things. I wasn't very good at the cooking or pottery then, but with everything else, I had "potential."

If only I could've focused on something. I never really did though and thus, never became great at anything. A jane of all trades; mistress of none. All that unrealized potential is pretty useless now. Though I suppose if I had been great at gymnastics, it wouldn't be too helpful now anyway. Computer programming, on the other hand... stupid stupid stupid. Well, how was I supposed to know? Se la vie. At least I had a lot of fun and a bunch of good experiences. I forget the point I had when I started this blog, but I know I had one. See, I just can't focus on anything...

wag

Gosh, I'm bored. With life, not work; work is always a whirlwind of excitement ;oP. Seriously, though, I'm so bored that I hardly even watched tv last night. Of course, I still watched How I Met Your Mother, or HIMYM to those in the 'in.' Best Prom Ever! Loved Lily's desire for a lesbian experience... because she's Willow and Willow's a lesbian! Get it? Get it?! Oh how I love a good Buffy reference.

Anyway, boredom actually lead me out of my apartment yesterday. Nothing overly exciting, but hey it was outside. Went to TGIFriday's for dinner... talk about excitement. Sadly, I had just watched the movie Waiting, starring Ryan Reynolds. *pause for dreamy sigh and momentary salivating* So, I couldn't quite enjoy my food and experience without thinking about the extra trimmings they loaded on in the movie. Yeah, I have trouble distinguishing between fictional movies/tv/books and real life; you wanna make something of it? After that, we got some ice cream at Cone E. Island... gotta love moose tracks.

Okay, now I'm even bored with my own damn blog entry.

Those articles I said were getting published are not published, which is infuriating. One magazine keeps telling me, "Oh we love your writing! We can't wait to publish it! It'll be in the __ issue." And is it there? No! Infuriating. At least they paid me. Then, the other mag hasn't contacted me at all. The only time they did is when they needed a rewrite.

I'm about to give up on the whole writing thing. I know, I'm just starting out and I have to be ready for all this frustration and yada yada yada. But to me, that just means, it's gonna get worse... and it might never get better. So, is it worth it? And do I really think I can make it? Honestly, I don't. Or I haven't thought so in a while. I don't think I'm particularly good at writing; I just love it is all. For all I know, I'm one of those sad rejects from the beginning of every American Idol season who thinks they're awesome and just needs a good nationally public humiliation to make them realize the real truth.

Besides, things very rarely work out well for me. If it's not one thing, it's another. It just ain't meant to be. I'm not being negative, really. It sounds negative, but it's just realistic and I'm okay with it. I'm just venting right now, I guess. I'll keep writing, of course; it's like oxygen... or crack. But we'll see if I'll go pro or happily stay in the amateur league... and go for the gold in the next writing Olympics!